Search

2 Mothers | 1 Blog | 0 Nonsense

What is real??

whatisreal

Don’t you ask yourself sometimes, what is real?

Some of the very fundamental elements of our lives are not real anymore:

The food we eat:

-Heavily modified to increase shelf life

-Added chemicals to remove any trace of unthinkable bacteria that was once a natural part of our diets

-A million forms of fake sugar, to avoid actually having to eat the real one

All of these modifications, at what cost? Our food is no longer real.

The air we breathe:

-I live in Dubai, need I say more? Though this is common to most other countries that have a warm climate most parts of the year. I breathe more air condition air than I breathe normal air. It is to blame for regular neck issues due to the draft if you sit straight below one, as well as the lovely spread of all kinds of viruses from office to office/apartment to apartment.

-Polluted air, pretty much everywhere we go, we are fed with chemicals as a result of our fancy, modern lifestyle.

How is this going to affect our generation, when we grow old? Our air is no longer real.

The products we interact with:

-Do you know why they advise you to wash newly bought clothes before you wear them the first time? -How come toys need to be properly washed and dried off before given to your children, and preferably not plastic but rather wooden toys?

-Exposure to all these electrical devices we now feel are necessary for our social survival and for many also a source of income and information sharing.

We are constantly in contact with synthetic materials and artificial replacements of the good old stuff. Our materials are no longer raw, no longer real.

The internet 

-What was once meant to be the epiphany of realness, raw and unfiltered sharing of opinions and information, across the entire globe, is no longer real. It is so heavily geared towards what we like and don’t like. If one day I search on a particular topic, then the next day when I enter my facebook page I see ads and pop-ups and article links for that same thing. It is setup to dish out what we like, perhaps to avoid too much interaction with things we don’t like. Confrontation and questioning of your own standpoint has always been developing for people, so perhaps Internet is becoming another tool in a comprehensive system to keep us all in our corners, happily thinking the world around us look and think the same as we do.

The list goes on and on.

And if you look at all of these consequences, ultimately they are geared towards someone, somewhere, making more money from the basics that we require in life. Simple.

You may ask yourself, what in life is then real?

There is one thing, which we can always rely on, and that’s our relationships. Our human to human connections, face to face, unfiltered and unedited. There, we are still in charge. In particular, the relationships we have with our young children. Before they are effected by all the un-realness of the world, they are real and we have a chance at real discussions and reflections.

Embrace it.

 

Love

/A

Motherhood 1.2 – How our kids teach us not to give a s***!

Motherhood 1.2.jpg

Long gone are the days when you look around and consider what other people are thinking or saying about you. Long gone are the days of stressing frantically to make your baby stop screaming when in public places, only because you are scared to appear as if you are not in control. There is simply no time or interest in those reflections anymore.

After the first couple of weeks with the first baby, you genuinely start to not give a s***. It’s one of the great consequences of having children. Your level of interest in what other people think is heavily reduced, at the cost of all the energy, time and care you put into your new born. And it doesn’t stop there.

You come to an important conscious or unconscious conclusion: What other people think doesn’t actually matter! If they think you are an amazing mother or a crappy one, doesn’t make any bit of difference to your life. This newfound realization extends into your everyday life, even when you are without your baby. At work for instance, you may find yourself less bothered by certain trivial drama that used to get you upset and you will be shaking those little shoulders a bit more often at the office-politics you once engaged in. Perspective. Having children brings perspective.

You child also forces you to take a stand, have an opinion and sometimes having to defend it, to yourself, your spouse or to your child. You will reflect on your perception of yourself and of the world around you. These processes are strengthening and brings better self-confidence, which in turn makes you less inclined to care too much about what other people think about you. Few of my friends that are single, sometimes say they feel that newbie mothers can come across as slightly conceited to begin with, but I believe that is a natural consequence of the shift of importance in our priorities when entering motherhood. We must somehow shut out the rest of the world, if even for a little while, both in body and mind, to enable the focus and care a newborn deserves and also to facilitate our own healing and comeback. It’s hard, and it’s a lot at the same time. So, of course, we will not be able to engage fully, in the same way we have before, and our environment should not expect that of us.

I embraced this newfound sense of not giving a s*** and gladly extended it into other areas of my life, and I actually feel it has made me a better person. I was never very concerned with what other people thought about me or what they thought about my life choices, but after having children, I must say, I care even less.

L_O_V_E

A

The best remedy for a sucky day!

sucky day.jpgWe all have those days when everything goes wrong from the very beginning.

We wake up, tired, by a baby screaming in our ear.

When we lift baby up from the bed, we realize the need to upgrade the diaper size to No 6 XXL because the baby just filled the diaper and the bed with wee. Cussing no 1.

We go out into the kitchen, only to realize that we forgot to buy coffee the day before while in the shop. Cussing no 2.

Late for school drop off, and realize on the way there that we left the swimming trunks for today’s swimming class on the kitchen table. Cussing no 3.

And so it continues…

By the time you are supposed to hit the gym, all kinds of excuses will come to mind:

-I am stressed, so I won’t be able to focus and do things properly anyway

-I didn’t get enough sleep

-I should really rather do some extra work, its s busy right now

-I haven’t eaten properly anyways, so I will not have enough energy

All these excuses, when in fact exercise is exactly what you need. The perfect remedy!

Exercise has the remarkable ability to make you feel just that little bit better about yourself and your life. And it’s not some kind of magic involved here, no rabbits jumping out of hats, it’s the amazing physiological finding called endorphins.

The principal function of endorphins is to inhibit the transmission of pain signals and there are theories suggesting that endorphins were introduced in us humans in order for us to handle the strains of hunting and running longer distances. Our bodies have the most amazing security system, even against ourselves and our own natural functions. The effect endorphins had on us would stop us from giving up and falling down on the ground from exhaustion while trying to run after and kill that yummi bison : ) A way to distract us from our own bodily limits on our quest for food for survival. I find it rather fascinating, that today when working out, we are aware of this lovely piece of hormone that is released into our system, we can understand and expect it. That carrot, along with the intellectual realization that exercise is going to make you feel better about your day and everything in it, should be enough for you to get your butt moving!

Now, I’m about to move my butt into bed! Nighty!

L_O_V_E

A

A new kind of threat

You are walking home, late at night. Alone.

Perhaps you went to a party at a friends house and decided to save a few bucks on the transport home.

It’s just 2 blocks away from your house, so what could possibly happen, right?

He is hiding in the darkness, waiting for someone like you to walk by.

He jumps out when you least expect it, pulls you into a dark alley and…

That, is our image of the “Classic Rape”.

Of course, most of us know, that this rape is in fact not all that common, but rather the unusual one. The most common rape is the one that takes place in the house, by the very people who claim they care about us the most, be it our close friends, brothers, uncles or husbands.
But, there is another form of rape, one that is even more difficult to detect and near impossible to prosecute against; The “Internet Rape”

I first heard about this in a documentary from Sweden, but since then I read about a number of cases all around the world.

Imagine that you have a teenage daughter, she is browsing online as she would any normal evening, but this particular evening a young, sweet guy sends her a message over Facebook. He says that she looks cute and asks if they can chat. He looks very cool, a little bit older than her perhaps.

They start chatting, he is funny and caring. He asks her for a picture. She sends it to him, just a random picture she has on her phone. They chat some more the next couple of days. She feels like a grownup, he makes her feel special and beautiful, like a woman, when in fact she is still a child.

Then, he asks for a picture of her by the beach or at the poolside, maybe wearing a bikini. She sends it to him. It continues like that, until she finally sends him a picture of herself naked. That’s when everything changes. Suddenly this cute, young and caring guy turns into a threatening, awful older man. He says that if she doesn’t continue to send him pictures and videos of her doing exactly what he asks her to do, then he will spread the naked picture of her to all her friends, family, her school mates and her teachers. Everyone will see her. She gets frightened, and thinks that if she just gives him what he wants once or twice he will go away, but that’s not what happens. It gets worse, and worse, and the more material she gives him, the more scared she will become of him sending it out.

The Internet Rape happens from the comfort of her own home, without any physical interaction. For those out there who would argue that this isn’t rape, doesn’t fully understand what rape really is. It is not only about sex, it has more to do with control and power. He has control over her, she has to do what he tells her to do, and that’s what it’s about.

One young girl in Sweden took her own life, as a result of this. It’s serious and something that I think every mum and dad with teenage girls out there should be aware of. Be attentive to changes in your daughter’s behavior, ask her questions about what she is doing online and try to read between the lines.

I don’t have teenagers yet, and I don’t have daughters, but I felt this is still an important piece of information to spread. Times are constantly changing and with technology new opportunities of interaction are opening up, but they are opening up for everyone, including the ones with bad intentions. We must therefore enlighten each other and more importantly, speak about this with our children. This is not about invading the privacy of our children, but rather about keeping them safe from these invisible threats, lurking in the dark.

L_O_V_E

A

Hand, foot and mouth disease, say what??

I feel the need to share a few lines about this horrible disease that both of my boys had during the summer in Washington. 

The symptoms started just like a normal cold; sore throat and a fever. Not a super high temperature, just between 38-39 degrees Celsius.

The fever lasted for about 1 or 2 days and that’s when I started to see red spots in the back of the mouth.

These red spots became painful blisters that spread all over the inside of the mouth to the outside. It also started to spread to the palm of the hands and the soles of the feet. The first blister I saw on my 3 year old was on his leg and then it spread to his feet, hands and the outside of his mouth, so I realized that it could start on different locations. 

img_0813

In the beginning I thought it was chickenpox. The difference with chickenpox is that it spreads all over the body. So, a neighbor had a look at it and said right away that it looked like the “hand, foot and mouth disease” and that kids there have it all the time! I looked it up on the web and felt pretty sure that’s what it was.

The blisters and spots turned into open sores that were really painful, especially on the soles of the feet. I felt so sorry for my little ones trying desperately to run around as usual on their tiny feet, while stopping and crying because the pain was too much for them to bear.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

After about a week the sores started to dry out and 2 weeks after the skin on the palms and the feet started to peel of and new, healthy skin came through. Even some of the toenails fell off, unbelievable! I would say that from the first day to when the sores where not visible anymore it was around 3-4 weeks. Insanely long and super horrible to see as a parent, you would pretty much do anything to transfer their pain onto you!

How did they catch it? Well a visit to Chuck E. Cheese that they had been looking forward to with such anticipation had made them sick . Kids, germs, dirt and more dirt.Exactly 3-5 days after which is the incubation time, they started showing symptoms.

I felt really hopeless during this painful ordeal. Of course we gave them some pain relieve, Tylenol or Alvedon (similar to Panodol, in Sweden) the first few days when the blisters were really painful and then I made sure they had loose comfortable clothes on. Gave them a lot of popsicles because they just didn’t want to eat much during the first days due to the pain. Anything to cheer them up and distract them from the obvious!

I never put them in the bathtub when the sores were open, because there could be risk of infection.

This disease is a one timer. So, if you have had it you can not catch it again and it’s really rare that adults get it.

If you want to read more about the  “hand, foot and mouth disease” also called “Höstblåsor” in Swedish, then check this link out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand,_foot,_and_mouth_disease

So all you Mumz or Dadz out there hopefully you will never encounter this disease, but if you do hopefully I have helped you a little bit on how to deal with it!

Have a nice week!

Love 

Belle

My question was: “What do you find most unattractive about a man?”

My question was.jpg

I posted into several forums the following very simple question:

What do you find most unattractive about a man?

Now, it seems my faith in the female population of the world was rather poor, since I had expected majority of the replies to be concerning superficial bodily features and/or materialistic possessions, but boy, was I wrong. Most of the replies were way deeper and awfully real, yes my ladies! Here comes the top 10 comments to my little enquiry:

  1. Someone who has tendencies of hatred, bigotry, arrogance, smugness, hyperbolic cynicism (“People are all stupid”)
  2. Someone uninspired, unmotivated, apathetic and ignorant. No thanks!
  3. Someone unpunctual, overly needy or overly insecure.
  4. Men who are excessively concerned with gender roles and lacks the flexibility of the modern world. It’s like they are stuck in time, not hot!
  5. Smoking and bad hygiene; take care of yourself, otherwise how can I want you to take care of meJ
  6. Self entitlement and sexism, just shows lack of intelligence and evolution
  7. Plucks his eye brows or fake tans
  8. Superiority complexes. Nothing is more annoying than someone who belittles you and thinks they are above you
  9. Apathy and lack of sense of humor. Also not sexy with men who can’t get along with people and carry themselves in social occasions.
  10. Lack of money. Lack of sports car. Lack of height. Lack of cool job. Lack of muscle body. Lack of handsome face. Obviously.

Sorry, had to include the last one, to create a little balance J but in all honesty, I didn’t get many replies similar to nr. 10. Most of the replies dealt more with the mentality of our men, and how important it is for them to be current, not suffer from some kind of old-school subscription to stereotypical gender roles. Men with lack of sense of humor, and men who are not motivated and lazy also seem to be at the top of the list (or at the bottom, rather).

So, my dear male readers (perhaps not so many…yet) time to get out there and riot in the next feministic march for equal rights, brush up on those sad old jokes and make sure to have goals in life and be motivated and driven. Do all those things and you should be well on your way to being that irresistible bachelor every lady is looking for. Oh, and then the sports car… Obviously… : )

 

L_O_V_E

A

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑