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What is real??

whatisreal

Don’t you ask yourself sometimes, what is real?

Some of the very fundamental elements of our lives are not real anymore:

The food we eat:

-Heavily modified to increase shelf life

-Added chemicals to remove any trace of unthinkable bacteria that was once a natural part of our diets

-A million forms of fake sugar, to avoid actually having to eat the real one

All of these modifications, at what cost? Our food is no longer real.

The air we breathe:

-I live in Dubai, need I say more? Though this is common to most other countries that have a warm climate most parts of the year. I breathe more air condition air than I breathe normal air. It is to blame for regular neck issues due to the draft if you sit straight below one, as well as the lovely spread of all kinds of viruses from office to office/apartment to apartment.

-Polluted air, pretty much everywhere we go, we are fed with chemicals as a result of our fancy, modern lifestyle.

How is this going to affect our generation, when we grow old? Our air is no longer real.

The products we interact with:

-Do you know why they advise you to wash newly bought clothes before you wear them the first time? -How come toys need to be properly washed and dried off before given to your children, and preferably not plastic but rather wooden toys?

-Exposure to all these electrical devices we now feel are necessary for our social survival and for many also a source of income and information sharing.

We are constantly in contact with synthetic materials and artificial replacements of the good old stuff. Our materials are no longer raw, no longer real.

The internet 

-What was once meant to be the epiphany of realness, raw and unfiltered sharing of opinions and information, across the entire globe, is no longer real. It is so heavily geared towards what we like and don’t like. If one day I search on a particular topic, then the next day when I enter my facebook page I see ads and pop-ups and article links for that same thing. It is setup to dish out what we like, perhaps to avoid too much interaction with things we don’t like. Confrontation and questioning of your own standpoint has always been developing for people, so perhaps Internet is becoming another tool in a comprehensive system to keep us all in our corners, happily thinking the world around us look and think the same as we do.

The list goes on and on.

And if you look at all of these consequences, ultimately they are geared towards someone, somewhere, making more money from the basics that we require in life. Simple.

You may ask yourself, what in life is then real?

There is one thing, which we can always rely on, and that’s our relationships. Our human to human connections, face to face, unfiltered and unedited. There, we are still in charge. In particular, the relationships we have with our young children. Before they are effected by all the un-realness of the world, they are real and we have a chance at real discussions and reflections.

Embrace it.

 

Love

/A

My question was: “What do you find most unattractive about a man?”

My question was.jpg

I posted into several forums the following very simple question:

What do you find most unattractive about a man?

Now, it seems my faith in the female population of the world was rather poor, since I had expected majority of the replies to be concerning superficial bodily features and/or materialistic possessions, but boy, was I wrong. Most of the replies were way deeper and awfully real, yes my ladies! Here comes the top 10 comments to my little enquiry:

  1. Someone who has tendencies of hatred, bigotry, arrogance, smugness, hyperbolic cynicism (“People are all stupid”)
  2. Someone uninspired, unmotivated, apathetic and ignorant. No thanks!
  3. Someone unpunctual, overly needy or overly insecure.
  4. Men who are excessively concerned with gender roles and lacks the flexibility of the modern world. It’s like they are stuck in time, not hot!
  5. Smoking and bad hygiene; take care of yourself, otherwise how can I want you to take care of meJ
  6. Self entitlement and sexism, just shows lack of intelligence and evolution
  7. Plucks his eye brows or fake tans
  8. Superiority complexes. Nothing is more annoying than someone who belittles you and thinks they are above you
  9. Apathy and lack of sense of humor. Also not sexy with men who can’t get along with people and carry themselves in social occasions.
  10. Lack of money. Lack of sports car. Lack of height. Lack of cool job. Lack of muscle body. Lack of handsome face. Obviously.

Sorry, had to include the last one, to create a little balance J but in all honesty, I didn’t get many replies similar to nr. 10. Most of the replies dealt more with the mentality of our men, and how important it is for them to be current, not suffer from some kind of old-school subscription to stereotypical gender roles. Men with lack of sense of humor, and men who are not motivated and lazy also seem to be at the top of the list (or at the bottom, rather).

So, my dear male readers (perhaps not so many…yet) time to get out there and riot in the next feministic march for equal rights, brush up on those sad old jokes and make sure to have goals in life and be motivated and driven. Do all those things and you should be well on your way to being that irresistible bachelor every lady is looking for. Oh, and then the sports car… Obviously… : )

 

L_O_V_E

A

Food For Thought – Him and Her

food for thought.jpg

New dress.

Lips embossed by smacky lip-gloss.

New handbag that matches.

She went to the hairdresser. She never goes to the hairdresser.

But she did today. For tonight.

She is wearing the ring. The ring signifies the most sacred unity she knows; her marriage.

She is scared, but not first-date-butterflies type of scared.

No, she is scared, that he will not see it. See her.

Isn’t it the saddest thing? No fighting, no disrespect, no cussing and no crying. Just emptiness. A void where there was once attraction, spiritual connection and fire, now vacuum. So many times we hear it happening to other couples and our fellow women break into pieces.

The worst thing is that most couples out there won’t see it coming.

They say men like to be treated like kings, so you ask yourself at what point you started to treat him like a peasant. Women like attention and affection, so he will ask himself when he stopped giving that. Who started the ending of us, you will both wonder. Truth is, it’s a spiral, where one action (or lack thereof) leads to another, slowly trickling downwards. I am a sucker for sentimentalism, and these types of situations are the absolute epiphany of that.

I think we are inclined to feel some level of self-pity, this to avoid realizing that we may have had something to do with this downward trend. We complain that our men don’t show us love and look at us the same way they did when we first met, but ask yourself if you are? When you met your husband the first time, surely you gazed at him, flirted, smiled a cheeky one, and adored him. Do you, at any point in your everyday lives nowadays, look at him that way? Men need affection and attention too, even though they may not always be as verbal about it as we are. If you realize this early on in the downward spiral, then you can attempt to turn it around and see if he and your situation will change. I know what you are thinking; why must it always be us, women, making the effort, trying to save the day. And I would be inclined to agree, but does it really matter who the initiatives comes from? As long as you both agree on trying to save each other from the crash, then surely that should be the main objective, right? Pride, doesn’t belong in problem-solving, the best solution must win, regardless of who it comes from.

I am no relationship counselor, so don’t take any advice from me (again, put it into your statistics), but I like asking questions, hopefully the right ones, to make my fellow women out there think a little more about their roles and responsibility in their relationships. Surely, if we are to detach ourselves from dependency on any man, we should not leave the solutions to our problems and the key to our own happiness, entirely in the hands of our male companions.

Food for thought.

L_O_V_E

A

News of the day: a robbed Kim K!

pic kim k.jpgHold every train! Ground every airplane! Stop everything happening on this entire planet, Kim Kardashian West just got robbed!

Apparently some rather genius and super informed robbers dressed as police men (so original) managed to get into where Kim Kardashian West was staying, tied her up (now THAT would surely blow up the internet) and stole jewellery worth around 10 million dollars.

Strangely enough there was no security nearby, and there was plenty of time for these guys to go about their business before authorities was notified. Seems these guys were very well informed (obviously keeping up with the Kardashians! Oh I knooooow, that was totally bad), and that they knew where she would be and what she would have on her. I suppose, wearing jewellery worth 10 million dollars may be what the Kim K’s of the world would consider business as usual, but to us peasants it sounds rather outrageous, it’s almost screaming “Rob me, Rob me, because what else can I do with all my money”.

Whenever there are scandals or these kinds of life-changing celebrity events, we can smell the PR-smoke. Out of all the rich people in the world, currently walking around with jewellery worth 10 million dollars, you guys had to rob Kim K? Isn’t that just too much of a coincidence?

I love conspiracy theories, and as soon as one or two, throughout history have been revealed, it goes to show that we cannot trust anything we see or hear in the media. There is a purpose and agenda to every story. No story is told without the thought of why, behind it.

And where was our US president to be, Kanye West? He should have been there, saving his queen from this degrading experience. Well, that’s surely another piece of information the robbers were well aware of. I am sure they have seen how Kanye interacts with paparazzi, surely that should be an indication of what he would do to robbers trying to steal his wife’s 10 million dollar jewellery.

So, Mumz, the grand message here is an important one: Avoid wearing jewellery worth 10 million dollars, while on a stay in Paris, and if you must wear jewellery worth 10 million dollars, then do so on safe USA ground (huh?), with plenty of security around! OH, and don’t forget to have your very capable husband around to defend you against any unwanted attention you may attract as a result of wearing your 10 million  –  dollar    – jewellery.

Insane.

L_O_V_E

A

It’s not only for Donald Trump that hair marries politics

For women, all over the world, this is a known fact. Whether we reflect on it or not.

Our choice of hairstyle will often give people certain ideas about who we are, much like the impact of what we wear. Fashion, style and beauty has always been political and had social impact, especially for women.

In fact, for several hundred years, certain hair styles (including of course also male facial hair and male hairstyles) have been considered signs of affluence, royalty or authority. Fast forward to our time, where hair is again at center stage with the likes of Barbie (urgh, I am allergic), Elsa in Frozen and of course Becky with the Good Hair:).

So, it is no wonder that we mortals, who are not blessed with a 24 hour hairdresser at our disposal, are factoring in hair as an important part of our initial assessment (i.e. judgment with absolutely no foundation) of a person we just met. It is sad, but nevertheless interesting, how we allow all these superficial elements to thrive in our brains, before the person even opened her mouth. But yah, that’s a whole different discussion (and maybe even another blog-site)!

The very lucrative consequence of all of this are the many billions thrown into hair products every year. There are more hair-products than there are products for your new born baby, a bit messed up, no? The products all claim to do different things like strengthen, keep color, keep shine, keep straight, make curly etc, and then the “box colors” (as my hairdresser friend Didi calls them with great resentment) meant to turn your hair into pitch black or Elsa-platina. Given the fact that hair is something that will always keep growing out (for most of us women) and will not disappear just because we grow older, it’s an astonishing amount of money we pour into it every year. I understand skin products, given many women are desperately trying to hold on to those glowing, plump cheeks that time will attempt to bring closer to our feet, but hair, really? Anyways, enough rambling about hair in general, here follows some of the most common preconceived ideas we (as in the general public) have of women with different styles of hair, here goes:

intelet   The intellectual

Wearing your hair short, in a darker color, and presenting a borderline messy hairstyle is according to research going to give other people the impression that you are an intellectual woman, an academic perhaps, someone who spends so much time thinking that she needs a hairstyle that doesn’t need attention or fixing. It’s just there, effortless, and so is she.

dreads  The Wishy-Washy

Another big preconception surrounds the hairstyle dreadlocks. Automatically some people will think Bob Marley, weed and endless days of just chilling on a beach. Politically she is definitely extreme left. She wants everyone to love each other. A bit like the hippie of the 70s. (Jeeze, incredible:)

carrie-underwood-long-blonde-locks   Girls just wanna have fun!

Ah yes, the classic assumption that blonde women are somehow interested in having more fun than others, and that they are more lighthearted and free-spirited. Not so “edgy” and “difficult”, some men would say in a survey. Of course, this is far from any kind of truth, as again it is based on stereotypes and generalizations.

dark-hair   The Mystery

It’s long, but not blond, it’s wavy, but not curly. It’s like a mystery and everyone loves mysteries. Ladies with long, wavy brown hair, are perceived as strong, independent and caring.

balled 2.jpg  The Anarchist

Balled? She has to be the type who opposes all systems, believes in the power of chaos to create freedom and of course, makes it her life assignment to challenge the patriarchy. Well, doesn’t sound so bad to me 🙂 But of course, and again, there is not one truth and one story to any woman.

So here comes the grand finale, the message: As women, we should aim to fight, not apply these preconceived ideas, and ensure that in our every day lives, when we meet other women in professional or personal situations, we keep an open mind. Remember to check yourself, so that no underlying, unconscious ignorance will ever reach the corner of your eye or bounce off your tongue when you open your mouth to speak.

Nighty!

L_O_V_E

A

Music and Memories

There is no such thing as music.

Music is unique in how it can resurrect old times. Like a time capsule, it can bring you to a distant time and place. It can engage your sense of smell, taste and touch.

When a certain song comes on, it may bring you back to that night when you had dinner with a boy called Tommy that you were madly in love with, and you will remember details about that night, such as how delicious that strawberry ice-cream was or the funny waiter who kept making jokes when he passed by your table. You may remember how you provided comfort to a grieving friend, who had just lost her puppy named Cutie, in a tragic car accident. Music does that to you. It transcends time and space.

Emotions you thought were locked away, music can easily grab hold of, and bring back to the surface. But equally so, it also brings back happy memories, puts a smile on our faces, makes our feet begin to move and fill our hearts with this unexplainable feeling of comfort. It’s powerful, real powerful.

music-pic

I think we all have those songs, those particular songs that takes us back in time and reminds us of what our lives used to be all about. It reminds us of the dreams and aspirations we had before the adult-every-day-life swirled us in to never return. Here are some of those songs to me:

“The very thought of you” by Ray Noble, recording by Natalie Cole

Reminds me of my Dad, of home, and Jazz, which was very prominent in our house when I was growing up.

Heartbreak Hotel” by Whitney Houston

Need I say more 🙂 One of the many songs that brings back those moments of juvenile, the-world-is-going-to-end kind of heartache that only a teenager can experience

“You can’t touch this!” by MC Hammer

Because it was the first CD I ever bought by myself (my exquisite taste in music began at an early age as you can tell). I remember how I went to the Music Store (yes, they existed at the time), paid a few bucks, and went home with this awesome, funky collection of songs by this guy who begun as a dancer and many years later ended up bankrupt (but famous nevertheless). I loved it and it was on repeat in my bedroom.

Afrodisiac” by Brandy

Because it brings me back to the time I was clubbing a lot, before I left Sweden to travel indefinitely. I remember nights where me and my girls danced and danced and danced, high on that liquid that begins with T and ends with equila. No dudes were invited, it was just us, happy and high. Life was so simple.

“Good Man” by India Arie

Music can teach you a lesson, bring your attention to something. This song did that for me. I started listening to it more and more when I had my first baby-boy, and I realized how there was now this little guy who really needed me to stay alive. He needed me to take care of myself; put that seat-belt on in the car, not take any unnecessary risks and do those general health checkups I used to put at the end of my list of priorities. Life was somehow suddenly much more precious and more fragile than before, every moment counts.

“This house is empty now” by Elvis Costello

A gentle reminder of how easy it is to lose a good thing

What’s yours?

L_O_V_E

A

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