Minus the wooden desk

Minus my mom’s awesome home-made backpack

Minus the pink hair ribbon

Minus a childish, but beautifully naive mind

Here I am. Back to School.

And… It’s terrifying!

When we grow up, most of us are fortunate enough to be in the momentum of education. You feel confident, more or less, and going to school is like a natural part of life.

Then you step out of it. You enter the money-making-wheel, and that then becomes the new normal. Fast forward, some 14 or 15 years. And I am going back behind that desk.

My desk, however, is now a virtual one, I study online. The good thing about studying online is the flexibility, especially if you are a parent. You can study late at night, after the kids have gone to sleep, with the help of caffeine pills and red bull of course. There are no fixed lectures, so you can study as and when you manage to fit it into your day. The only disadvantage, or challenge I should rather call it, is the discipline. You have to be disciplined and manage your time and priorities well. No one is there to double check you, or to make sure you are keeping that little nose in those books to adequately meet the level of learning required. You have to manage it. More freedom always equals more responsibility.

My self-confidence going into studying was a tad bit tarnished, but it was overpowered by my enthusiasm and conviction that I am doing the right thing. As a parent, the sacrifice you make, taking those precious hours out of your day, is one you will not take lightly. But also, we should never forget how privileged we are to be able to study. There are many people out there, of all ages, that would do anything to be able to study, but circumstances or finances are not facilitating it. In the “western world”, we often take this for granted. When we apply to a higher education, we are nervous, not sure if we will be admitted, and once admitted and we have started studying, that mindset changes. Suddenly the obligations kick in and we forget how happy we should be to be sitting behind that wooden desk.

I, for one, am awesomely excited to be able to study again and feel that my life experience and self-reflection is serving me well. I hope that I will be able to work with something in the future that I am truly passionate about, and be able to look my kids in the eye and say: “See, your mom is doing something she loves, every day, and so can you! You don’t have to settle for a “good job” you should always aim for a GREAT job! Life is more than just paying bills, and even though life can sometimes put us in situations where that is what we gotta do, we should always aim for more!

L_O_V_E

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