Long gone are the days when you look around and consider what other people are thinking or saying about you. Long gone are the days of stressing frantically to make your baby stop screaming when in public places, only because you are scared to appear as if you are not in control. There is simply no time or interest in those reflections anymore.
After the first couple of weeks with the first baby, you genuinely start to not give a s***. It’s one of the great consequences of having children. Your level of interest in what other people think is heavily reduced, at the cost of all the energy, time and care you put into your new born. And it doesn’t stop there.
You come to an important conscious or unconscious conclusion: What other people think doesn’t actually matter! If they think you are an amazing mother or a crappy one, doesn’t make any bit of difference to your life. This newfound realization extends into your everyday life, even when you are without your baby. At work for instance, you may find yourself less bothered by certain trivial drama that used to get you upset and you will be shaking those little shoulders a bit more often at the office-politics you once engaged in. Perspective. Having children brings perspective.
You child also forces you to take a stand, have an opinion and sometimes having to defend it, to yourself, your spouse or to your child. You will reflect on your perception of yourself and of the world around you. These processes are strengthening and brings better self-confidence, which in turn makes you less inclined to care too much about what other people think about you. Few of my friends that are single, sometimes say they feel that newbie mothers can come across as slightly conceited to begin with, but I believe that is a natural consequence of the shift of importance in our priorities when entering motherhood. We must somehow shut out the rest of the world, if even for a little while, both in body and mind, to enable the focus and care a newborn deserves and also to facilitate our own healing and comeback. It’s hard, and it’s a lot at the same time. So, of course, we will not be able to engage fully, in the same way we have before, and our environment should not expect that of us.
I embraced this newfound sense of not giving a s*** and gladly extended it into other areas of my life, and I actually feel it has made me a better person. I was never very concerned with what other people thought about me or what they thought about my life choices, but after having children, I must say, I care even less.