food for thought.jpg

New dress.

Lips embossed by smacky lip-gloss.

New handbag that matches.

She went to the hairdresser. She never goes to the hairdresser.

But she did today. For tonight.

She is wearing the ring. The ring signifies the most sacred unity she knows; her marriage.

She is scared, but not first-date-butterflies type of scared.

No, she is scared, that he will not see it. See her.

Isn’t it the saddest thing? No fighting, no disrespect, no cussing and no crying. Just emptiness. A void where there was once attraction, spiritual connection and fire, now vacuum. So many times we hear it happening to other couples and our fellow women break into pieces.

The worst thing is that most couples out there won’t see it coming.

They say men like to be treated like kings, so you ask yourself at what point you started to treat him like a peasant. Women like attention and affection, so he will ask himself when he stopped giving that. Who started the ending of us, you will both wonder. Truth is, it’s a spiral, where one action (or lack thereof) leads to another, slowly trickling downwards. I am a sucker for sentimentalism, and these types of situations are the absolute epiphany of that.

I think we are inclined to feel some level of self-pity, this to avoid realizing that we may have had something to do with this downward trend. We complain that our men don’t show us love and look at us the same way they did when we first met, but ask yourself if you are? When you met your husband the first time, surely you gazed at him, flirted, smiled a cheeky one, and adored him. Do you, at any point in your everyday lives nowadays, look at him that way? Men need affection and attention too, even though they may not always be as verbal about it as we are. If you realize this early on in the downward spiral, then you can attempt to turn it around and see if he and your situation will change. I know what you are thinking; why must it always be us, women, making the effort, trying to save the day. And I would be inclined to agree, but does it really matter who the initiatives comes from? As long as you both agree on trying to save each other from the crash, then surely that should be the main objective, right? Pride, doesn’t belong in problem-solving, the best solution must win, regardless of who it comes from.

I am no relationship counselor, so don’t take any advice from me (again, put it into your statistics), but I like asking questions, hopefully the right ones, to make my fellow women out there think a little more about their roles and responsibility in their relationships. Surely, if we are to detach ourselves from dependency on any man, we should not leave the solutions to our problems and the key to our own happiness, entirely in the hands of our male companions.

Food for thought.

L_O_V_E

A