Not so long ago, on Virgin Radio here in Dubai, one of the guys on the show was just going to have his first baby and so he asked his colleague live on radio what would be the biggest change to his normal routine and lifestyle. His colleague took a moment of silence, as if he was hesitant as to whether or not he should reveal his deepest thought, and he then replied: Spontaneity
What he said was spot on. Things have to be planned, from now on. But, it’s not that you CAN’T have a life (as people like to often describe it) or that by having babies you need to now rapidly “grow up” and talk about and do only things that grown-ups do. You don’t have to restrict your conversations to poo-schedules, inspirational pack-lunches and birthday party themes, in fact, with serious effort, you can avoid those conversations altogether. I must admit however, that it is difficult to do so entirely, given the constant need for sharing best practices and getting new ideas of how to care for our children, but perhaps it can at least be allowed only a certain space of our daily exchanges with other parents and between ourselves and our hubbies.
It is also perfectly possible to have that “life” that we keep referring to. What does that actually mean, though? It’s probably a very different answer from parent to parent. For some it means still being able to go out, get sloshed, crawl home, and be allowed time to pay for it the next day, and for others it means quiet dinner dates with their hubbies, or late night shisha with friends at a local coffee shop. It differs, and therefore there is no one answer. For me, it’s a mix of things; me-time (definitely a generation Y kind of invention), some hubby-and-I time and some time to just do this – write, be creative and develop myself.
Perhaps our focus, rather than complaining (which we do a lot of) should be to structure ourselves a bit better. Together with our hubbies, as a team, we can figure out how to enable each other to do the things we would like to do as individuals as well as the things we want to do with each other.
To lead the way and set things in motion, here is my list of 5 things I am currently not doing enough of:
Taking a bath
Ok, Mumz, don’t worry, I am showering (doh), but having a bath, to me, is something totally different. It should be more of a spiritual moment. Silence around me (yeah, that’s the hard one!), candle or low dimmed lights, a glass of something cold (doesn’t have to be alcohol people!) and really really hot water. THAT is me-time deluxe.
Dinner dates (with husband, in case I needed to add that 🙂
I love calling these “dates”, because it lays the ground for some romantic action:) If you just call it a dinner, then it does become very grown-up, add the word “date” and somehow it takes us back and becomes a bit more juvenile, in all the right ways! A few hours away from the house, away from responsibilities, just the two of you, as it was before the little ones entered your lives, works wonders! You will have the time and calm to discuss your future, your common goals, realign yourselves in mind and spirit and ready to go back to the real world, even stronger. Together.
OK, here is one thing that is getting WAY too little attention in my daily routine. I know, I am always on about health and taking care of your body and workout and all, but what about the one thing that is starring you in your face every morning when you wake up? Your skin. Your face. I am not saying you should try to fight the battle of wrinkles and now go and invest in overpriced anti-wrinkle creams (night-creams, day-creams, Sunday creams, Saturday creams, day after creams… did I forget any?), what I am referring to is just the general TLC your face needs and deserves for you to feel good about it. Depending on your skin that might mean different things, for me it means that I should once or twice per week do a little homemade facial with steaming, a little buffing and roughing and then a mask and toner. Don’t do NEARLY enough of that!
Go to the movies
I absolutely LOVE going to the movies. I love the whole experience of watching a good film, together with others, with the best imagery and sound quality (not to mention the fact that going to the movies automatically entitles me to a pig-out on popcorn, coke and chocolate). I go sometimes with my eldest son, but it’s not exactly the same thing watching a well-made and exciting thriller as it is watching a cartoon with lots of yellow little guys running around (BANANAAAAAA!!). It’s fun, but not the ultimate fun one can have at the cinema. If I could have it my way, I would do more of that.
Oh yes, last but not least, this one has suffered greatly since the arrival of my two beautiful boys. I suppose, not so much because I haven’t been able to, but because the little time I have outside of the regular routine, I want to spend with them. They are awesome and funny, and very entertaining. I usually try to compress the girly conversations and my portion of gossip into lunches and coffee’s throughout the day. But, I do need those girls nights, at least once in a while.
So, there it is, my little list, and I am sure my hubby also has one (shout out baby!). Mumz out there, what’s on your list? Share with us, maybe we can give each other more ideas!
And to celebrate this occasion of sharing, I shall in fact, do the very first on my list; I am taking a bath.